can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
