White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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