he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
