Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
this is an emotional support booty call
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
