if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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