this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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