I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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