Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Randomize
