I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
