Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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