No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
