I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
