True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
