beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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