Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My vagina is officially offended.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
