Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
