my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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