Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
