This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
