She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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