I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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