This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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