bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
