Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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