Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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