My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
