She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
