For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
