You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
