How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
