like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
