Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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