I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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