Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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