Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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