at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
