you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
