Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
