Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
