he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
