let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
