Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
