That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
