Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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