before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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