You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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