TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
