He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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