do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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