He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
